All the Questions You Have Ever Wanted Answered About Why We Cage

As some of you may know, especially our Instagram followers (@KneadyBakersLA), “every night” (except for Sunday) at “midnight” (roughly), a new and inspiring picture of Actor/Icon Nicolas Cage appears in your feed. Since not everything is in black and white, different feelings and emotions may start to surface at each glance of the sometimes frightening, sometimes comical, always thought-provoking #MidnightCage.

We will not apologize.

We will, however, thoroughly clear up for you ANY AND ALL confusion you may have as to our motives that surround our, as some of you so gently put it, “OBSESSION” with The One True God.

Aside from the fact that we have gotten hundreds of followers simply for our #MidnightCage posts, but end up staying for dessert, and aside from the fact that, as business owners, we can literally do whatever the fuck we want, and aside from the IRREFUTABLE fact that Nicolas Cage may be one of the most brilliant actors to ever grace the big screen, some of you still question us.

The most common question we get on the daily:

Don’t feel bad! You’re not alone in this! However, there are some who don’t KNEAD to ask any questions about why we cage…you “get it”:

We’ve even gotten ourselves a hardcore fan:

(Hope it's ok we didn't censor out your name, Fitzy. Just thought you deserved a shout-out.)

(Hope it's ok we didn't censor out your name, Fitzy. Just thought you deserved a shout-out.)

Hell, we’ve even gotten OTHER Nic Cage users to follow us, because obviously we’re better (jkjKJkjklollololkllol).

Exhibit A, just one little past #MidnightCage post for the jury:

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We even make some of you BEG for it:

Heh heh, calm down, there, buddy... Patience. 

We do, however, suggest at least a 16 and up age limit with parental guidance for all Cages:

That being said, I will now begin to answer your Frequently Asked Cage Questions:

Q: How and why did you get so into Nicolas Cage?

A: Well, I’m one of those fortunate people who like my job, sir. Got my first chemistry set when I was seven, blew my eyebrows off, we never saw the cat again, been into it ever since.

Q: What would you say to those who would rather NOT see pictures of Nicolas Cage every day?

A: Put… the bunny… back… in the box.

Q: Could you recommend some hobbies for people to do who do not wish to partake in #MidnightCage?

A: You can get some tuuuunes or go to a puppet shooooow.

Q: How do you get so many people to like your Nic Cage pics? What's your secret?

A: Sorry boss, but there’s only two men I trust. One of them’s me. The other’s not you.

Q: What are some of the most common questions you get asked about Nic Cage?

A: WHOSE DESK IS THIS?

Q: How do you respond to all the Cage H8as out there?

A: Killing me won’t bring back your god damn honey!

Q: If you ever met Nicolas Cage, what would you ask?

A: How in the name of Zeus’ butthole did you get out of your cell?

And finally,

Q: What makes Nic Cage so fascinating to you?

A: The answer lies with Charlotte.

Well, we truly hope this clears things up.